Financing the journey

As much as I try to deny/ ignore finances in my life... They are very much a big part of my life. I kept job hopping throughout my life because I would find my salary not meeting my monthly needs. This was before I even had a family. So when I was pregnant, I had to think long and hard about  ways and means to cover my expenses. I was very much aware that my financial decisions were not good enough to sustain myself, what more my baby. *wideeyed! Anyway, the next best decision came as a dream, it came in the form of an opportunity to upgrade my studies. I was accepted to the Masters in Psychology programme. That was amazing! Sending my letter of resignation to work and telling them "Sorry I'm going back to study full time" was great. Not without anxiety and fear about the road ahead. I tried making some inroads with my debtors, telling companies not to deduct money, shifting the AA insurance responsibility to Mali for her car. Being able to say No I can't when I'm tempted to buy something for my mom. It took a lot out of me, but it had to be done. I did have some money saved from the retirement payout of Netcare, so that was to pay the car, the loans, the travel to class daily. Wow! only God knows how that worked out. I blame Him for this hard headed self He put in me. (sometimes I think my son takes that from me, psst, I don't want to admit it though). I had a very rocky year financially, I had nothing to count on, at least when I was still working, I'd be without money, then fall on a credit card, or take a loan/ advance from the bank or Woolies. This time there was nothing. Standard Bank who I had shelved because of their stupid interest rate, came crawling out of the woodworks and scared the living daylights out of my mom. I mean they called her to tell he I was defaulting on payments and they had a judgement against me. Ok in a way that helped cos she paid that instalment. But it meant I had to make arrangements. It's funny how "loving" these banks are when they want your money, I mean when you go borrow from them, but when the tables turn, they want nothing from you. FNB instead closed my bank account, citing "fraudulent activity". What is fraudulent activity when there is INactivity on an account, hahahahhaha. Yep, that was an eye opener, a hard cold wake up call for me. No money, but life is meant to go on my dear. and that it did, I had to make visits to family, smile as if nothing is wrong. sit in the library do assignments, while thinking about a sickly grandmother and on top of that, get an sms that your car will be repossessed at any time... Sjoe, yeah, ke lewe Joe! I've just wateched the One Rand Man campaign by Sanlam and that's the reason I mustered the courage to write and finish this blog post. We are all on our unique journeys, I keep thinking if only I was earning R35000 I'd be better, as far as calculated this guy earns around there, but on the last day of the month he only had R6 left. Yep, so it's not the amount of money you earn, but rather the way you respect money and use it accordingly that matters...