This is a post I shared on Facebook on 20 October 2013:

"On this day a year ago my life changed. My personal status was amended, the family grew and the Me that I am was extended. All praise and honour to God almighty who has kept us till today. And just as on this day last year, showers of blessings are in abundance as a reminder of His grace that He is worthy of all the praise. Yebo, Sibonga umusa Thendo kha iye huMudzimu! Happy birthday my son!"

The art of waiting!

 I was talking to a friend earlier... I can't believe I haven't written anything this year (today is July the 5th). And here I am aiming to use this blog as part and parcel of who I am on social media. I want to find a way to link it to my Twitter and Threads bio :-) Anyway, back to today, I am in limbo. I am waiting, have beeeeeeeeeen waiting for my examination results. It's not easy, but I know, the end will come. Dark or blue I will get them, the reviewers have to finish. I mean already they hired a new reviewer because the initial one could not finish the job. So yeah, if it means a reviewer will be hired very 6 weeks, so be it, lol! My paper will be read by someone who will have to give it a mark. And so, when thinking and reflecting about the art of waiting, the trick is not how long it takes while you wait. The most important thing is how you wait, one's attitude while waiting. 

Reflections about Covid for a research study

 Reflections on the year 2020 and the impact of Covid on my teaching experience

 

Thank you for the survey entitled: Impact of teaching transitions on staff health. I tried my best to answer most of the questions, but I must say I battled a bit on the burnout section, especially with answers on “how I feel after leaving work”. The work environment has not been the same. I joined the department as a new academic in January 2020. There were interruptions from student and staff strike action. I was on probation and not being able to get to the office made me feel inadequate, like I should be doing something extra to make sure everyone knows I am working. The 19^th of March 2020 was the last time I was officially in the office. I only had physical contact with my husband and sons. Thankfully I live in a complex so I could at least greet my neighbours, at a distance. I must say I am privileged compared to colleagues living alone, or away from family. We lost family members and friends, family members got sick, and I worried about by my elderly parents. My sons built “box-forts” to hide from the world. I realized that my utterances of rage and frustration on how this situation was not handled properly globally, and that there was no end in sight, might have caused confusion in their little minds.

There were times when I enjoyed the less-rushed days. That I could cook, or sort out housework while I worked. This flexible schedule blurred out my days. I couldn’t separate my home versus my work time. I found myself marking assignment scripts long into the night. I even found myself rolling around the house in the same sweat-pants and because I could not visit the salon, the only option was to cut my own hair. I miss waking up, getting dressed (i.e., shoes with heels and putting on lipstick) and driving to work, the actual distinction between being at work and being home. I miss the quiet office that has a big desk and a white board where I can map out my week or write down notes. Being able to stand up to make a cup of coffee instead of worrying about what everyone in the house will eat. I miss the luxury of being able to print and scan, to walk across to someone's office for a quick chat. Yes, there are things I don’t miss like the interruptions from random people who are lost and don’t know which building they are looking for. Or worrying about afternoon traffic on the way home. I have however, learnt a lot in the past year. I attended a whole lot of training online in a couple of months. I am still struggling with the time-management but am working on it and hope that whatever this “new normal” means I will survive. 

Press Send

 What a journey! I was saying to a friend of mine, that the word that comes to mind for this phase of my life is, Catharsis. I've just googled it now. It is defined as the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions. It's been a roller coaster ride, and I felt it more this year. I felt all that is meant to be felt when doing postgraduate studies. And as part of that, I still had to be a daughter, a sister, a mother, a wife, a brethren, a neighbour, a colleague, an employee Yho! My head is about to explode... The good news is, I did it! I managed to press send, by forwarding my complete draft to my supervisor, my editor and my critical reader. I have about 2 months left to submit, but I am confident that my thesis can be seen by the world. I googled examples of what one can do to celebrate the PhD completion and got quite a few exciting things to do. The one entry even mentions that the the completion happens in stages, yes it does, I feel sending to the editor in August was the first bold step of letting go. And now this act of sending to these trusted people in my corner is another bold step. The next will be getting the link from the Research office and Graduate Studies and then the feedback from examiners. I can not wait, now those deserve proper celebrations!

It is a lonely journey and at times it feels like people do not understand or will not understand what you are going through, so you don't even bother telling them, but guess what it is a village journey, I would not have done it without the help of so many people in my corner. I am not good with asking for help, but amazingly when I would hint towards help, yho I would get overwhelming responses, it has been amazing. I hope to be more active on this blog and to ultimately publish it, maybe there's someone out there who needs to feel that they are not alone on this journey, and that they too, can make it through ;-)

The reason for this journey...

18/04/2023 -  Or should I say, the reason for this madness, lol! I am examining a dissertation on career choice and I can't help but reflect on my own journey from Standard 8 (Grade 10 now) to date. Is this what I thought I would become? Was I old enough to make such a decision? hmm

20/04/2023 - We had to submit progress reports to the Research office today. While writing and detailing how far I am and why my study is delayed, I got to the stark but really sad realisation that the last time I was formally, thoroughly supervised, was in 2019...

Aluta Continua! The journey continues

The activist in me has been re-awakened. I have been nominated and subsequently, appointed to deliver the keynote address at the upcoming Psychology Students conference. Therein I have to bring in my journey, how far and where I've come with this Psychology and also to bring the rhetoric that abounds re: decolonisation and digital activism such as the #RhodesMustFall, #FeesMustFall. There's so much to read in preparation, but I'm very happy to say it can be done *wink *wink!

This is the initial speech, the one that got me the speaker position:-)

To our honourable Faculty members, distinguished speakers and guests; Ladies and gentlemen, good morning. I would like to first congratulate the Psychology Department at Unisa, in particular the office of the Chair of the conference for the excellent arrangements for this gathering and for their hospitality. I'm very much delighted to be part of the 2017 Southern African Student’s Psychology conference being hosted here in Pretoria by the University of South Africa.

The theme of this year’s conference “Psychologies in dialogue: strengthening our African connections” got me excited, and brought to my mind the word Creativity. To quote Jean Piaget, who said, “The principle goal of education is to create men (and women) who are capable of doing new things, not simply of repeating what other generations have done – individuals who are creative, inventive and discoverers.” This year’s conference calls us to not only position ourselves within the discipline, but also, to help change what we think Psychology is and make it what WE want it to be!

As a starting point, it is worth reviewing past conferences and charting out what the discussions were about. The inaugural conference took place in Botswana in the year 2009, a follow-up conference took place in 2011. I was fortunate enough to be part of the grounds team in 2013 when Unisa collaborated with Wits University. The theme of the conference at the time was Psychology in Action and it called to action student Psychologists to engage and network and find out more about their learning spaces. I mean I had a “groupie moment” when I got to meet a Wits professor whose work I was reading to gain insight on issues of social change, of course I couldn’t wait to ask for a selfie! In 2015 Psychology in Community as a theme took to the Unisa Polokwane campus. I remember a meeting held, in preparation for that conference, with the team of Psychologists from the correctional services who were eager to unpack the term Community. Challenges that they face within that space included the shortage of professionals. In preparation for that conference I was part of the debating team which deliberated on the Health Professions Council registrations. As a group of Research Psychology students we wanted to find out from other students how they understood these registrations and their scope of practice.

Now here we are in 2017, 23 years into democracy and we have to find a way of ensuring that Psychology is relevant and visible out there. In looking at the challenges that face our profession it is worth noting that although South Africa faces numerous social challenges (including violence, poverty, racism and HIV/Aids, to name just a few) we also are well positioned to ensure that the psychology we practice, is thee psychology we want it to be. * It is not about 1 on 1 approach where as a practitioner one waits for clients to come knocking at your office. It is about team efforts, where as professionals we can strengthen the bonds and ensure that we reach wider than our just our backyards. We have to able to think outside the box, really engage Psychology as the “interdisciplinarian” it is. I mean it mixes up philosophy, history, mathematics (stats), neuroscience, environmental studies, You name it, you get it. We need to build internal communities that actively support, and continuously engage in dialogue among these disciplines and sub-disciplines. Maybe even starting within the registration categories, where as Research, Clinical, Educational, Counselling and Industrial Psychologists we can engage and network, to better know each other and to form communities to discuss relevant solutions.

For too long Psychology has relied on Western influence, including  the adaptation of psychological tools and technologies, it is now time to challenge these paradigms using a South African lens to study issues. There is somewhat of a light, there are annual psychology conferences held locally and universities are recruiting more scholars and researchers into the field. With works by Durrheim and colleagues, the focus is more critical and focuses on the indigenous, African psychology and aims to address what the population really needs. The onus is now upon us as students to grow the field and nurture it. We have to be curious, to learn more skills, to network and to be flexible. It is said that, “it is through exposure to difference that we can achieve a critical distance from our own thinking and thus ask fresh questions” (Vermeulen, 2011). This means that, through interacting with each other we’ll be better able to open up fresh areas of inquiry and curiosity. *I do sincerely hope that this conference will provide us with useful insights to contribute to the Psychology dialogues and particularly highlight the way forward in growing and strengthening our African connections. The question then is, how many collaborations/networks will you have by the end of this conference?
Ladies and gentlemen before I finish my speech, please allow me to wish you all the best for your successful deliberation in this conference and particularly wish our distinguished guests from all over Southern Africa a safe, happy and memorable stay in warm Pretoria. Thank you very much!

The journey continues...

 I have been meaning to revive and even publicise these entries. So I am taking the first step. I commit to write about my postgraduate studies journey. You know I sometimes have questions that I google and somehow I cannot find exact answers to what I want to ask. So here goes a blog to help black South African women navigate their journey. I am reminded again that this is my journey, it is taking long, it is taking its toll on me and those around me, but it will end in congratulations! Some of the points I would like to ponder herein are: 

- How to make neighbours and those near understand that you are not always available, not just time wise, but emotionally and psychologically I cannot deal with you now. I cannot take your call, I am in my head so much, I just need some quiet time. I cannot...

- How to get funding for each year that you need to register for a qualification that seems to be dragging. How to explain to bursars that you deserve to be supported financially. 

- How to keep sane and work tirelessly, without feeling guilty, find a way to balance that working at work is ok, and it shouldn't take over from study time.

- How to work with a supervisor intelligently without stepping on toes. It's my study but the supervisor is supposed to know enough to take me by the hand and lead me to the finish line. Yes, this is true, but it is still my project, I should have the upperhand, I shouldn't;t trust and follow blindly. 

- How to navigate my Christianity, God first, my husband next, my kids follow, my family and siblings (I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt) and the church... when the church wants to bulldoze and overtake all these other functions and make me feel less than for  not spending every waking moment within its walls...

So, here goes the start of my blog, hope you will journey with me. I hope I can help another first generation student with me and remind them that you are not alone. You can do this! it's a lonely journey there are no clear deadlines and assignments, its you and the massive project that will one day lead to you walking across the stage being capped with another qualification.